Dear DoubleTake,
I recently met a guy and there was instant attraction. He had told me that he was just getting over a long-distance relationship and wasn't sure if we should try to get into one now, but I said we can take it slow and just date until later on.
Our second weekend together, he started to pull away and didn't want to spend as much time with me. He invited me to a concert, made me pay for the ticket and then said I couldn't go because seeing me twice in a row was too much for him.
I eventually went to the concert after he felt guilty saying those things, and it was horrible for the first hour or so.
The next weekend we were supposed to go on a day trip together. He told me that he wasn't as into me as he had been at first and that if I wanted a romantic relationship, this isn't it. We went anyway and agreed it would be our last day.
He was at times completely lovey-dovey with me and at times extremely uncomfortable. After breakfast the next day he said he needed to be alone and that he's not comfortable with me. I said he hurt my feelings and walked away.
He texted saying that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings but he just needed to be alone right now.
I returned the text, saying let's take a few weeks break until another concert I had told him about. I haven't heard back.
I'm not sure how in just two weeks he has totally lost interest in me.
I'm OK moving on, although I really liked this guy, but I guess my ego hurts.
What's really weird is that he is very attracted to me physically and we have a good time together when we're not talking about his issues.

BETTY SAYS:

The pursuit of distant yet exciting men with issues is an uphill battle and from my experience, it's not worth the heartbreak.

This guy seems to be raking in your good graces without giving anything in return. I can't think of any dude out there who wouldn't spring at the chance of free concert tickets and other no-strings-attached fun.

It would be in your best interest to find someone who likes you for you because, let's be honest -- physical attraction is fleeting.

Why not invite one of your girlfriends to go to the next concert with you instead? While you're there, have fun, dance, have some cocktails and verbally trash this guy who left you with a bruised ego. Get out there, girlfriend -- you can do better.

And don't be tempted to call him or text him. But if he does try to get in touch with you, just be cool and let him down easy.

EDDIE SAYS:

You should not feel any surprise that attraction can bloom and fade within just a few weeks. That's how it happens. You meet someone interesting, spend some time together to see if there's something deeper. If you don't feel it, you try to be kind and suggest to her that it just won't work out. You're not ready. "It's not you, it's me."

He tried to gently extricate himself from a fling, and you couldn't quietly accept that was all you had together -- a fling -- and pressed for more. He tried, probably just to get you off his back, and didn't realize that would make it worse.

However much you like this guy, he doesn't share the feeling. And there's no reason he should be feeling much of a connection to someone he tried to get rid of after just a couple weeks.

It may hurt to realize that he doesn't want you like you want him, but that's the way the wind blows. You should learn from this that intense early feelings don't mean something long-term is brewing, and if you don't dig doing certain things in short-term relationships, you should wait until they become long-term to do them.

If you don't mind, have fun rooting around while you're young. Just know that not every young sapling grows into a mighty tree.

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Do you need a second -- and third -- opinion about a problem in your life? Ask Double Take and you'll get two points of view: one from Eddie, a married family man in his early 30s, and one from Betty, a single woman in her 20s.

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